Me at 2:30am on pain killers whilst scrolling through Facebook:
I will find many problems here, not answers.
How can a husband and father help people in another country (Aleppo/Syria)?
How can he help within his own country (DAPL)?
What can I do to get answers to the problems everyone is talking about?
Why are any solutions that make sense knocked down and criticized (wearing a pin as a sign that they are protectors)?
Why does my race/gender/religion get used as a dismissal of what I can do to help and be a part of the solution and the answer (white male Mormon who wants equal rights, pay, and protections for everyone, but kicked out of groups that fight for those causes because of my own gender, race, religion)?
How does adding a flag or a symbol to my profile make a difference?
Why do people use angry mom blogs and angry political blogs and angry [insert any topic cause its a one emotion fits all situation]? Where are the sources? Where are the published studies? Where are the peer reviewed journals? Where is the actual fact of the stories people post about?
Why do people put so much stock into the Holidays and fight over whether it is offensive to give a greeting reflecting your own beliefs or if it is an act of kindness and would be received the same way if someone from another/no/all religion reciprocated with a greeting reflecting their holiday belief?
Why do people put so much pressure to make the holidays work and be perfect when year after year, all I hear in the aftermath is the complaint of one thing or another not going their way (myself included)?
Why do people feel threatened in their own beliefs, preferences, hobbies, fandoms by the beliefs, preferences, hobbies, and fandoms of others (DC movies get the worst reviews no matter how good they are compared to Marvel and their "perfect" movies with bad guys who are a joke and no lasting feeling leaving the theater of any inspiration or reflection on what was watched)?
I get in the way and can't do anything to help and it sucks. I get yelled at blindly by people hiding behind their electronic devices cause they know I can't fight back or hurt them. I want to help. I want people to see that it isn't the Black Lives Matter movement at fault for the damage and the riots, but people who misunderstand that message, both members of the movement and the opposition. Their lives matter, and so does mine, but I am not threatened by walking down the street in a hood, so I shouldn't have to worry about if my life matters. They do on a daily basis, and when I am talking to my kids about standing up to bullies or being polite to their teachers, they are talking to their kids about how to not get killed by a cop or a racist bigot. Cops are not the bad guys, either. Racists wearing the shield and killing innocent people are the bad guys. Cops are being targeted and killed because people can't tell the different between the actual problem, and the group the problem hides behind.
And even if I have the answers, and can take action and make a difference, I am at the mercy of a program that has been proven to filter, hide, highlight, and manipulate what shows on people's news feeds. There isliteral proof that Facebook experimented with people by moving negative posts up in the priorities over positive posts, and it potentially was the cause of several suicides that occurred during their human experiment. So this post isn't likely to show up for a lot of people, and double whammy is that those who do see my posts are seeing it because they usually interact with me, and the less the interaction, the less the stuff shows up on each others news feeds. So for the hundreds of friends I am not in constant contact with, most of their stuff doesn't show up on my feed, and most of my stuff doesn't show up on theirs.
Finally, I will most likely just merge my account over to my wife's. Or just close mine out and mooch off hers when I need to, even though I get most of my family updates through her anyways, so really, I don't need this platform of communication to get the real information that matters to me.
I love my friends, even the ones I don't reach out to. I am high on the pain meds so most likely I am blowing smoke about ending my time on Facebook. It is really tempting though. I want to help. I want to make a difference and solve problems. I will be volunteering at one of the Children's Hospitals to read stories and other things as they need. I should have died 10 years ago, but I didn't. I am here to help. Help me find ways to help, to get answers to these and other problems. Forget my race, gender, religion, because they are not what define me, they have as little value as eye or hair color. Let me help regardless of my differences.
My surgery is Tuesday, should be simple enough, but I am scared. So pray for me (I actually do think praying makes a difference) or send positive vibes or take whatever action you believe is your way of helping me feel confident about it and not be afraid of it.
I am seeing dragons trying to get my attention, so I am going to see what they need.
